Tuesday, June 17, 2008
I have to confess...
that things with my in-laws did not go so well. Some of you know that if I stayed in Texas a week longer this summer, they had offered to drive the kids and I back to Wi in their RV. I had my reservations about the situation, besides my general discomfort with so much together time over what would be a 3-4 day trip, I have Aidan signed up for a camp with the school that he would miss (intro to 1st grade). My concerns also included the driving situation. I would be sitting in the back of the pick up between the 2 cars seats for 3-4 days, potentially getting car sick as I do in the back seat. Plus, my in-laws will be continuing on at some point to Colorado so they would be travelling with their 2 cats. Somehow, travelling between 2 car seats in the back seat with 2 cats crawling all over the place doesn't sound appealing to me. B and I had a huge discussion about this the other night and I finally came to the realization that the reason he wanted this so badly was not so much so that I could stay more time with my family but so that his family would be committed to come visit. Needless to say, B made our excuses and told his parents that we would like to stay with our original plans because of Aidan's camp and such. His parents have now decided not to swing by this way at all. I don't understand why as they obviously had the time before because they had offered to come get us and drive us back. B is very upset with his parents about this. I feel like I should say something to them, but am afraid that it will fall on deaf ears. What I don't understand is why they have felt the need to be in such control of our vacation and then when we can't cooperate with them fully they just decide that they don't have the time to come see us. B was explaining the weather up here at that time of year too which was kind of strange as they visited in the summer the first year we were here. Are they concerned it is too cold? Anyway, if any of my readers can help shed some light on my in-laws behavior please leave me a comment, or send me an e-mail if you have it. Anyone else deal with this sort of thing? I am sure it has to do with the fact that this is the first time we have not lived in the same town with them for an extended period of time. Advice please as I am in need!
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3 comments:
Miss Margie-
I am sorry that you are having trouble with the family. I would suggest that you let B deal with it, though. They are his parents and it isn't seen in nearly the same light when you approach them, even if you were to say the same exact thing. At least you both agreed to not be manipulated by them about the entire trip. That is a start! I'll be praying that B will have the words to say that hit home without hurting too much.
Have a wonderful day & call if you need to vent some more. (I know about family not visiting!)
It's always sad when our own parents disappoint us. I've been going through somethings with my family that has left me very disappointed with most of the adults in my family. I've come to the conclusion that no matter what I do or what I say, nothing is going to change the way the act or see things. And it is a shame since it directly affects my child. My own father has been retired since Christmas and has only seen my child once since then. And that was because they has just bought a new RV and were making their first road trip to Memphis and decided to swing by for 2 days. Two days...that was it. Tell B that he needs to just tell them how he feels, knowing that it is going to make them mad, but if he doesn't tell them, it is never going to change.
You know I know where you are coming from on this. Unfortunately, you can't change them and, in the end, they are only short-changing themselves. I will pray for all of you through this. Give me a call if you want to talk some more.
P.S. I also think you did the right thing (so don't have guilt about it).
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